My post after a long time, so bare with me its too philosophical ..

Its true that Helping Hands play a significant change in our society rather than just generous praying. Well for a while I was also part of the bunch of guys who just talk about social problems, poverty but do nothing. In fact I always wanted to do something, but was confused about how and where to start? Some questions that came in my mind were i) What if I get involved with a big social service organization?? ii) Will I be completely a part of it if I join?? iii) Will it be convenient for me?? (I am pretty sure most of us have this question in mind)..

Once I heard some of our batch-mates Vundavalli (V Srinivas Rao), Bappi (Bappineedu) were visiting some orphanages for a while. Later one fine day there comes a mail from Vundavalli about organising a lunch at an orphanage. I immediately responded to the mail . Due to large amount of donation from our friends gang, the plan was changed to organise for 3 different orphanages. You must be wondering how is a lunch going to tackle social problems??? True its not going to, but it is a platform for people like me to start things and realize by spending some time. So, THARA was the first in the league.

THARA – The Homage for Anawim Rest and Awakening. (More description can be found on the link : courtesy @vundavalli). I will be focusing more on my experiences here rather than telling about the institute.

We reached the place in the morning and got necessary items needed for lunch. When we went to the market for shopping, I realized dude I didn’t know anything about how to prepare a Biryani (I remembered my mom telling “Avi come in the kitchen and see its not that easy” ). We were supposed to get some large amount of ingredients for Biryani.  So we went in search for the ingredients, interestingly we met with lots of shopkeepers telling their own prices. We were confused a lot , as we didn’t know the original price. Ahaa… We decided to check at all places and then decide where to buy (Bazingaaa we were right, that’s the way to shop ) ..

Once the lunch was ready, we called children outside.  Cutest group of children I had ever met. We served them food and also ate with them.  The most energetic lot of the whole bunch was the group of 3 young kids. We had a great fun together. We all played basketball, catch-catch etc… I couldn’t forget one guy who was not speaking anything except for “BUS”. I didn’t understand what was wrong with him, so I asked their warden. She said this guy never utters a word other than “BUS”; if we say BUS has arrived and you will be boarding it then only he will eat or do anything. Nobody knows where his parents are, nor does one know where he used to live?? It was really sad and I was moved by that (Somethings change your life). Finally the time for photo-session arrived and we took snaps with all kinds of weird poses. The pictures of the whole group is attached above. All together we had a gala time  thanks to Vundavalli, Bappi, Kiran, George, Boppay, Padmini. (Sorry if I forgot any names)

What did I get from this wonderful visit ??? Interesting changes in me after this:

1)  Don’t talk about things just do it. Feel the real pain with the people who are suffering.

2)  Care about people around you. I realized how important some things are in important life and how small things change your life.

3) One of my grandmother’s sister lives alone. Never realized how happy they would feel if we go and spend some time with them. After one visit I started visiting her regularly and celebrated important events (b’day,diwali) with her. She felt so happy that she called my parents, my grandma and told that I was celebrating her b’day. That was the moment to see (I loved it). Due to my continuous visits my friends doubted my reason to go to grandma’s place; they thought I was going because may be a cute gal might be living beside my grandma’s house . I hope they get the reason now .

4) The real worth of happiness is in sharing with others. (Courtesy: Movie “Into the Wild”). I always wanted happiness in my life. Now I believe providing happiness in others life will bring happiness in oneself.

You might be thinking this is the same kind of shit that people always talk. Yeah its true. One will find the difference only when he/she will go and have a good experience of their own. And this time its my experience.

Next post will not be philosophical

Its about 3 friends discussing about the future,freedom,enjoyment of life. What do u wanna do in the coming years? Are we enjoying our life?

F1: Female ♀ working M1: Male ♂ working M2: Male ♂ studying

The conversation goes on like this…

F1: So what do u wanna do in the future guys??

M2: Go to Europe for further studies..enjoy life..

M1: Be in job and go for trips with my team and with friends.

M1&M2: What about u?

F1: Get married.. really bored of life

M1&M2: :O …what ??? You wanna get married because u r bored of life and work?

F1: Atleast i will have someone on weekends to go out with..

M2: Arey Dumbo now atleast u have friends to go out with.. Once you are married then u will have only one person to go out with. And also dude freedom you will not have it anymore.

F1: Thats what the problem is. I have no freedom like you guys. To go out I have to take permission of parents. To go to a party parents permission. To go for a trip parents permission. And it is not always YES . My life is really boring .. I wanna enjoy my life.

Now we understood she also had a point. If a guy wants to do something he usually gets affirmative replies from parents, but a gal generally needs to plead,promise and what not to convince their parents. Even then they don’t get the green signal. I heard from lot of my friends kaash mein bhi ladkha hothi i wanna enjoy like you, i could come to goa with you guys..

So you might ask why is that parents are too caring about their daughters and curb their freedom? Is it that this is a male dominating society and a boy can live in any situation and a gal cannot? What might be the reason?

One cannot blame parents for this. They are being over protective only because they see examples from the society and make up their mind. So when does a gal really get freedom? When is she going to do something for her own and enjoy life? I remember a line from one of my grandma’s friend (she is 60 now) “During my Teens i was controlled by my parents, When i was 20-30 had to live for my husband, When i was 30-60 i had to live for my children (without embarrassing them), Now (at 60) i have some time for myself and i am going for a world tour”.

So gals just checkout when you really have time for yourself.

The most common question that youngsters ask themselves “Am I a CHILD or an ADULT??”.. Have I grown up??.. Am I mature enough to take my own decisions??.. Well everyone wants to grow up early and get the tag of an adult.. There is lots of power in the word ADULT..

In college I am the boss of myself.. I take my own decisions. I feel myself to be an ADULT..

But @ Home …………………………… Still a CHILD…

There are 3 characters in the story.. Granny, Mother and a Son.

The day when Son was going by a train to his college. Mother started delivering the usual dialogs.

Son take care of urself. Have you packed all things (10 times).. Have you kept vibhudi (Saibaba tilak) ?? (if it is already put by her, she will put it again).. Mind you Son is not traveling for the first time, he traveled umpteen number of times to many places alone. Still Mom is scared and makes sure everything is alright at every stage of the journey. Son receives calls after every hour asking about where and how is he right now. This is what is called Mothers Love and Affection towards a Son. Sometimes I feel why does she treat me like this. Haven’t I grown up??.. Can’t I take care of myself ?.. Sometimes I even get annoyed. Once I got into an argument with my Mom.

So the question right now is till when are treated like this? And the Answer is ALL THE TIME… (Even if you have Kids )

I experienced this when my Granny was treating my MOM the same way.. (I was enjoying the moment )..

My Mom was not feeling well.. She fell down and injured her finger(minor injury). The time my Granny heard the news she panicked in worry.. She started treating her like a small kid who injured herself while playing in the school.. There were other instances when my Mom was traveling alone and the same old story continued.

This shows how Mom’s are always Mom’s ..It doesn’t matter if you are 16 or 60..

But the truth is I like it and I am sure many like it too.. It shows someone really cares for you. If I have to be a child for this .. Then it is worth it.. So do you like being treated as a CHILD or an ADULT??

Before starting with the narration I wanna tell you about a special person in my life “My Dad”..

My Dad is a Graduate from RECW (now NIT Warangal) and working in ONGC for about 25 years.. So as far as intellectuality is considered he is too good.. Very disciplined and plans things well ahead (not like me.. always last minute ).. Basketball and a hockey player during his college time.. My bro and myself got the zeal towards sports from him.. My dad used to encourage us in each and every game..During my school days i should admit that we were really afraid of him.. We used to switch of the TV and jump on to our study table once we heard the car sound downstairs.. (I hope he realised that then ).. One good thing is he never said no when we asked permission for sports meet(even during my 10th board exams).. Only problem he has is anger..

It was about 1 year ago during Diwali time.. Dad,mom,grandma and myself sat down for dinner.. Dad nagged mom that the rice was not made properly etc..Mom gave excuses but the thing didn’t stop there.. I wasn’t happy with the things going on so entered into the discussion.. (first time in 20 years)..

Avinesh : “Dad thats not the way you criticize a person”.. “If you don’t like something tell politely hopefully he/she will understand..”

Dad: “What happened to people nowadays.. Have they lost patience that they cannot accept criticism”…

Avinesh: “Its not that way.. Iam just saying the way you are telling it pretty rudely..Its like hurting others feelings..”

Dad : “I have been like this my complete life… I cannot change.. This is how Iam happy…”

Avinesh: (i suddenly became philosphical) “‘Dad life is a learning process.. Its not that we know everything.. We should learn incase someone is suggesting us something good..”

everyone shocked and atmosphere turned silent for a while……………

Avinesh: Sry, if you feel bad Dad.. I didn’t mean to hurt you .. Its just that I wanted to tell you long back but couldn’t get the courage.. And its also not that Iam younger than you and can’t tell you if you are doing wrong..(I tried to convince him that i didn’t mean to hurt…)

After this Dad became silent and went out of the house for a longtime.. After he returned, he didn’t talk to me.. Infact he didn’t talk to me for 3-4 days.. I waited for the day i was returning back to college.. I thought Dad’s anger would come down..(but it didn’t ;( …) .. I was to leave the next day so i had to settle things down.. So I knocked his room and asked “Dad are you still angry on me???” .. Mom replied “No why would he be angry on you??” .. I said “Dad Iam really sorry that I hurt you..I consider you as my friend so I told you all this..What i said is true.. Just give it a try and think on what i have said.. “

I felt pretty bad because i hurt him..Later after few months my Dad told the whole story to my bro and was happy that i came and apologized to him..This was the first and last time that i gave my Dad some suggestion as a son.. Later we became good friends and shared things like friends.. I tell him about my drinking experiences(very occasional drinker btw),gals etc…

I know many people around me are afraid of their Dads.. There is always a way to convince people (especially elder people..).. If two people get into a heated argument.. Its that people with high temper have ego.. So one has to come down and apologize even if he isn’t wrong…

Football: 1 ball 22 players.. At a time only one man holds the ball.. The probability that one holds the ball depends on the team that one is playing against..I am not a good player but used to play this @ school…The only game i didn’t play in my 4 years @ IIIT-H for my house (Aakash)..

The story goes on like this.. The day before the match Arpit (captain of our house) asks me “Avinesh do you play football???”.. I was thinking “Oh God what happend to Aakash its asking for players like me”… Well I am not that bad at this game as I am describing..Two things you need to have to play football are idea of the game and stamina…I play as Right Out i.e. Forward line Right Wing in Hockey (Basic idea of the this is similar to football).. Only difference between them is ball is controlled with stick in Hockey and with legs in Football.. As far as stamina is concerned not a big problem these days (participated in 22km Half Marathon)..

Match Day (Debut Match) : Abhilash one of our star players was not feeling well.. I was working in the lab suddenly i got a message from him “Avi come to the football ground we have a match”…I reached the ground pretty early.. Practiced hitting the ball (longtime i touched football..)… Then i realized “Ahaa not bad avi not bad..”…

Then comes Arpit “Bhai thoda kicks practice karlo…”.. We practiced for a while ..

Now comes the team meeting..Captain Kabeer and Arpit were deciding the team..

Kabeer : “Which position do you play???”

( I was thinking “Wow first match and he is asking me for my favorite position.. that means iam in the team”..seriously which position do i really play ???? Right Out naah i.e Striker in Football naah.. First match and you ask for a striker position i.e. his position …not fair …)

Avinesh: “I can run well” .. (Goshh… what kindoff answer is that)

Arpit : “Offcourse you can run.. Then Midfielder..”

Avinesh: (Midfielder is too much for me) “Running is fine, but it should be with the ball.. Its not 100 m dash.. I would prefer playing defender..”

Arpit and Kabeer: “Fine Defender.. Central Defender or Right Back “

Avinesh : “Right Back”…

Match Starts… Aakash Vs Prithvi (Prithvi is the strongest team on paper)

Prithvi played well initially.. We were getting few chances (truly speaking ball was on our side for the maximum time..)..Then suddenly our midfielder chips into their goal post.. Kabeer controls the ball and hits it to the Goalkeeper.. Ball deflects from the goal keeper and Saurav kicks into the goal..wow.. 1-0 Aakash leading… good start…After few minutes comes equalizer from Aman (ball curves in and dips into the top corner).. 1-1.. Later Kabeer converts the controversy penalty chance for Aakash making 2-1.. 5 more minutes to go.. Privithvi house players were striking the ball into our goal.. We just needed to defend our goal..Then comes the cross from Pratyush and the ball was about to come to Aman.. As i was marking him I managed to deflect the ball.. but GOAL… GOAL … GOAL..

Oh no… my first goal and that too SELF GOAL… And that too 5 min to go.. If we would have won this match we would be going into the finals without any pressure.. Oh no Aakshian’s would remember me as the SELF GOAL guy who shattered their dreams of entering into the finals.. NO NO what happened.. Shit Shit…i shouldn’t have touched the ball.. I was feeling very bad that day first chance and that too i screwed up like anything.. Everyone came to me and said “Kya baath hain OWN GOAL..”.. I never faced this situation as I always played in the front line in hockey.. Mistake of a striker is not taken that seriously.. But one mistake of Defender is a big mistake…

Anyways it was Vayu who defeated Prithvi in qualifying round and gave us the ticket to the finals.. It was then my regret of OWN GOAL ended… Thank you Rahul and team (Vayu) once again ..

Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life. Hope implies a certain amount of perseverance — i.e., believing that a positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary.

Expectation: In the case of uncertainty, expectation is what is considered the most likely to happen. An expectation, which is a belief that is centred on the future, may or may not be realistic. A less advantageous result gives rise to the emotion of disappointment.

Desperation : A state in which all hope is lost or absent..

Sadness : is a mood characterized by feelings of disadvantage and loss.

Aren’t these all related??? As far i think anything first starts with Hope, gradually our Expectations increase.. When we come to know that it wouldn’t be possible then Desperation starts….Resulting in Sadness..

From my previous post you might have an idea whats my perspective of happiness.. Now i will tell you some secrets about how to be happy in whatever situation your life is in.. I know many would be contradicting about what i would be saying in here..Thats how i have been living my life and I am absolutely happy with it..

Well Sadness or Sorrow is what everyone is afraid of.. None likes being sad right…So why are people sad??.. Its that people hope something to happen and ultimately when it doesn’t happen they are disappointed…

For example:

1. After retirement parents expect from children that their lovely children (for whom they have spent there 3/4th of their life) would take care of them..But when it doesn’t happen they feel “Is this what for we are alive..”.. (Iam definetly going to take care of my parents don’t get into wrong assumptions .. Its just an example..)

2. Before or after an exam.. Student expects to score good grades in the exam…If he/she doesn’t -> goes to a state of sadness..

3. A boy/gal before proposing the person whom they love expect a +ve answer.. If it is not … -> Sadness…

4. A couple expects everything good in his/her partner.. Like respecting eachother’s view and living together forever..But if something goes wrong and there is a breakup … Again Sadness..

5. You help others expecting that he would definitely do good in return.. What if he/she does bad…llly lots of examples…

My question is why do we have to expect something???..

The root for sadness is hope and expectation..If we don’t expect from others we would never be sad..I know its the ideal case of happiness..Everyone i argued with said “How can you be idealistic?? Its impossible as a human”.. Its true that it is difficult to be idealistic but atleast one can try right..What my intention here is just be prepared for everything..Life will not always be the way you expect.. So before doing anything just be mentally prepared for what ever it may be..If we achieve whatever we expect then we would be the creators (Oka Aparichitudu, Oka Gazini, Oka Mcdonald Murthy, Oka “You”)..

I am not saying that one is always bound with happiness.. Un-happiness is what makes Happiness more interesting and tastier.. I am just trying to say there is always a +ve side in everything….Life is a coin having heads(happiness) and tails(sorrow)..What I am saying is just make it a biased coin of happiness…. Just be prepared for any result and see the +ve side of it…..

What i would say “Give your 100% , thats what we have to do.. Just don’t think about the result.. Result is not always +ve.. Just be prepared for everything”… (Thats what is the Secret of Happiness.. Sry its no more a secret )

Rahul : (a.k.a Saladi,ITEM) my langoti yar (family friend and 1st – 4th classmate ). It is difficult to describe him in few sentences, he deserves a blog to be written on his name ..Well in few words he is a sheer genius,an allrounder, and a famous ITEM one had ever seen (he surely agrees to this) …(Most our thoughts match)

Ravi Kiran V: (a.k.a Pilla) Got close to this guy in second year. One thing you will first observe is his height. Anyways this guy is a good dancer(my guru),guitarist,player and an alltime flirt :d. If you are close to this guy he will do anything for you..(Doesn’t really agree to you quickly)

Srivatsava Daruru: (a.k.a Daruru,Dadda) This guy is highly talented.. Topper of our batch… Great philosopher and a poet..Plans to do lots of things but doesn’t really come into limelight… Right now in Texas Austin doing his MS.. (Well this guy actually thinks twice before doing anything..)

Avinesh PVS: (a.k.a Avi,Avigates) Well nothing much about this guy. He has lots of plans to do. Gets inspired quickly from anything. Tries to all things least bothers whether he can do or not.. This guys mind is very fickle. Only thing is that he has lots of thoughts in mind and end up implementing few things (good thing is that atleast few things are done )..About his aspirations and dreams i will need another post.Anyways Continuing with my post.

Ok the story goes on like this..

It was the day Daruru got his bike. Rest of us thought we have to get a treat from him and we all went for dinner @ Olive gardens. We came back to college @ around 00:00 hrs. I was the initiator of this discussion. I asked “Whts Happiness to You???” Is it money,fame,power or anything else?? (theme derived from a Hindi Movie)..Ravi said “Happiness to me is money…I want money so that i can buy gifts for others” :O (he is a gift freak.. likes to give gifts to people close to him).. Daruru said “Well for me money is very important”.. Rahul and I were like whts the point in having money,stress and not having mental peace..Then I said “Consider that you have an option of choosing between a 20 lac job (which sucks big time) and a 12 lac (which you really like) which one will you take up?? “.. Ravi immediately said “20 lac job…”..I was like “You are not atall happy in the process of earning money still you wanna take up the job????“.. He was still adamant of taking that job…Rahul and I were the one’s supporting happiness is in doing the process not in result..i.e. If it is true that one is no atall happy doing the work then how can he/she be happy???.. But Ravi and Daruru also had their point that they are more happy from the result… i.e. what ever happens to them they don’t care, but they see happiness in the happiness of others… Well considering the fact that we fought for around 6 hours on the same issue, finally we came to a decision that both process and result are equally important for happiness. It is how one balances them.. This was pretty old discussion so couldn’t actually remember how this discussion took place for 6 hours.. (Argument between two opposite thoughts can take any no. of hours).. Ultimately people agreed to each others thoughts and respected them …

After this i came to know everyone has their own point of view of happiness. But yeah one thing is for sure is that Happiness is what you really feel from inside, if you try to fake it from outside there is no point.. You can fake it on your friends but you cannot fake yourself. If one cannot achieve after lots of hardwork one should be happy that he/she atleast tried hard, but they are destined for that. Happiness is what one considers in every possible thing. For example: If there is breakup of a couple (bf and gf) .. There is no point in being unhappy.. Rather one can think what has happened has happened for good (their ideas are not matching and probably they cannot get along) and live their lives happily..So life is really short, live happily forever..

Well lam a kindof person who can be happy from what i have and what i achieve. What kindof person are you???

After breaking my head for a long time i thought i should write about my experiences, philosophy and lots of things about my life. Sometimes i feel one’s life should be as transparent as a glass. Get ready to know more about me in my coming posts.