Reducing the Generation Gap

Reducing the Generation Gap

Relation between father & son should be like that of friends.

This is also an incident from my life.. Just wanted to share with you..

Before starting with the narration I wanna tell you about a special person in my life “My Dad”..

My Dad is a Graduate from RECW (now NIT Warangal) and working in ONGC for about 25 years.. So as far as intellectuality is considered he is too good.. Very disciplined and plans things well ahead (not like me.. always last minute :D).. Basketball and a hockey player during his college time.. My bro and myself got the zeal towards sports from him.. My dad used to encourage us in each and every game..During my school days i should admit that we were really afraid of him.. We used to switch of the TV and jump on to our study table once we heard the car sound downstairs.. (I hope he realised that then :P).. One good thing is he never said no when we asked permission for sports meet(even during my 10th board exams).. Only problem he has is anger..

It was about 1 year ago during Diwali time.. Dad,mom,grandma and myself sat down for dinner.. Dad nagged mom that the rice was not made properly etc..Mom gave excuses but the thing didn’t stop there.. I wasn’t happy with the things going on so entered into the discussion.. (first time in 20 years)..

Avinesh : “Dad thats not the way you criticize a person”.. “If you don’t like something tell politely hopefully he/she will understand..”

Dad: “What happened to people nowadays.. Have they lost patience that they cannot accept criticism”

Avinesh: “Its not that way.. Iam just saying the way you are telling it pretty rudely..Its like hurting others feelings..”

Dad : “I have been like this my complete life… I cannot change.. This is how Iam happy…”

Avinesh: (i suddenly became philosphical) “‘Dad life is a learning process.. Its not that we know everything.. We should learn incase someone is suggesting us something good..”

everyone shocked and atmosphere turned silent for a while……………

Avinesh: Sry, if you feel bad Dad.. I didn’t mean to hurt you .. Its just that I wanted to tell you long back but couldn’t get the courage.. And its also not that Iam younger than you and can’t tell you if you are doing wrong..(I tried to convince him that i didn’t mean to hurt…)

After this Dad became silent and went out of the house for a longtime.. After he returned, he didn’t talk to me.. Infact he didn’t talk to me for 3-4 days.. I waited for the day i was returning back to college.. I thought Dad’s anger would come down..(but it didn’t ;( …) .. I was to leave the next day so i had to settle things down.. So I knocked his room and asked “Dad are you still angry on me???” .. Mom replied “No why would he be angry on you??” .. I said “Dad Iam really sorry that I hurt you..I consider you as my friend so I told you all this..What i said is true.. Just give it a try and think on what i have said.. “

I felt pretty bad because i hurt him..Later after few months my Dad told the whole story to my bro and was happy that i came and apologized to him..This was the first and last time that i gave my Dad some suggestion as a son.. Later we became good friends and shared things like friends.. I tell him about my drinking experiences(very occasional drinker btw),gals etc…

I know many people around me are afraid of their Dads.. There is always a way to convince people (especially elder people..).. If two people get into a heated argument.. Its that people with high temper have ego.. So one has to come down and apologize even if he isn’t wrong…

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Comments
16 Responses to “Reducing the Generation Gap”
  1. Bhanukiran says:

    A very daring post. Its always tough to reveal personal things on blogs. Nice one keep blogging

  2. A K says:

    reminded me of Bommarillu :)… when you said — “Its just that I wanted to tell you long back but couldnโ€™t get the courage.. ”

    Good post..

  3. Good post mama ๐Ÿ™‚ Reminds me of some of my arguments with my father too!

  4. pavan says:

    nice one raa !!
    Can your father able to bare your philosophy ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. Aniket says:

    Classic. Something many of us might relate to. Stuff we should keep in mind as we start on our journey as responsible adults and stuff we ought to come back to, time and again, year after year, to have a reality check on ourselves.
    Needless to say, keep blogging!

  6. You are a real talker dude !! Nice one , keep blogging.

  7. Avinesh says:

    @A K: Infact i related most of the incidents of Bommarillu with our life.. The haircut,shopping etc…

    @Pavan: My dad is getting used to this.. :D..

  8. Karan says:

    Superb post. Really heart rendering.

  9. Life is an UNLEARNING process as well Avi. We freeze every day, as we keep learning. Similarly, unfreezing process also keeps happening simaltaneously. However, the pace of unfreezing is a lot slower than freezing. Hence, it is difficult to unlearn something that we have made into a habit, as our self over a period of long time. While ageing, it becomes difficult to unfreeze as fast as one could during their past.

    While reversing this process of learning becomes difficult, it is easy for a person who is open minded and ready to accept change.

    keep blooging…

    I blog at http://cognitive-emotion.blogspot.com/

  10. Avinesh says:

    @Ashu : I agree with you dude.. I understand freezing takes place but atleast one should give it a try to be an ideal person right.. Whats wrong in learning good things that you haven’t done till now.. Its all in attitude… If one feels it is really hard to be a good person then he will never be, until he tries really hard to be one..
    Almost most of things are difficult in life .. But nothing is impossible.. Determination is what matters..

  11. Sunayana says:

    Very nice post. Well written ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Gvs says:

    Well written.. I think u r going to be a good dad… ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. Harsha says:

    hey avi nice one raa I liked the moral of blog… attitude matters more than anything in life

  14. amar says:

    nice post again…u told him about ur drinking and partying habbits…really….wat was his reaction…i m sorry if i m too personal

  15. Avinesh says:

    Initially my dad was like ok no probs.. Later when i used to tell him i was going to have a drink, he cautioned me of having beer rather than hard drinks..

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